How to behave

If you’re new to finding a prodomme, I understand. It can be scary or even overwhelming trying to navigate the search.

There’s some helpful information if you scroll down my sessions page. This might make it easier to be sure you’re finding the right femdom for you.

Once you’ve found one, it’s helpful to have a clear understanding of prodomme etiquette.

Here are some things you should know about contacting me.

Email is acceptable, but phone calls and texts are preferred. Please don’t reach out until you have an idea of what you want and a date and time for your session in mind. You should also be prepared to send the $150 deposit via Cashapp or Paypal  as soon as I’ve confirmed your session.

Take time to prepare a list of what you’re open to and interested in. This is absolutely necessary for planning our session together. If it helps, use my interests list on my session page. Pick a few (or more than a few) acts from there to get us started.

I have neither time nor patience for chatting without tribute. If you’re looking to chat, reach out on  Niteflirt. 

 Finding the right femdom for your needs often takes a little work. Just as I take time to ensure my devotees are a good fit for me, you need to make sure that the Domme you choose to submit to is a good fit for you.

Here are some tips to aid you on your search for the perfect prodomme:

First thing’s first: a prodomme will never reach out to you first. If you create an account on a site like Fetlife and get dominatrix offers in your inbox, ignore them.

Service provider sites can list multiple prodommes in your area. Many even verify those who advertise with them, providing an added layer of safety.

But one of the most promising signs of a professional femdom is that they have their own hosted website. If they do, they’re much more likely to be a real person who is committed to their profession.

Listings sites can be overwhelming, so you might want to use search sites like Google to find these pro websites. Learn to use incognito browsing if you don’t want your search history popping up later.

When searching, the more specific your search terms, the better. For example, you’re more likely to find ‘dommes who provide trampling sessions’ if you search for exactly those words.

You’ll probably hear people talk about using FetLife and Twitter to find prodommes. This is certainly possible, but tread with caution. These sites do not verify femdoms providing services, so they’re a bit riskier.

Tryst features ads by location. Getting involved with a local dungeon and education can also be a great way to discover what you really want. Dickie Virgin is a great resource to find professional Dommes. 

 Just as you want to be sure your dominatrix is a real person offering real services, they also want to make sure you’re a safe, real client.

Be prepared to provide your name, phone number, and a deposit at a minimum. Some prodommes (but not all) may ask for some sort of identification. This is more common with full-service providers rather than femdoms, but can still happen, so don’t be surprised if it does.

Many prodommes will ask to meet briefly in a public place before your session. This won’t necessarily be a long meet—it’s just a safety measure. Being seen in public together affords a small amount of accountability for both parties. It’s also a great opportunity to affirm that you’re both still excited about the session before entering the dungeon or playspace.

If you’re new to hiring a professional dominatrix, that’s okay! Simply let your prodomme know and they’ll likely be happy to chat about your interests and answer any questions. Again, just be sure to have that deposit ready. It’s impolite to expect a pro to ‘chat for free’ for very long.

You can ask for references, as well. Be polite, follow any instructions laid out, and there’s no reason why you can’t ask to talk to consenting clients or colleagues. This should assure you that your prodomme is the real deal.

 Your femdom will be very strict around communication, time, and other boundaries. This is a good thing!

A scammer will string you along as long as it takes to get your money. A prodomme is well-practiced in the art of recognizing timewasters.

Don’t waste their time. Read the instructions on their website or listing carefully. Have a deposit ready, and consider boundaries a good sign.

When you meet, do not touch a dominatrix without their explicit consent, if at all. Remember to be respectful. You don’t have to be submissive until you’ve agreed to begin the session. However, you’ll need to meet your domme as an equal to negotiate your scene.

As with the suggestion above about your prodomme search, knowing specifically what you want goes a long way.

Dominatrices love knowing exactly what their clients want so that they can deliver an above-par experience. Figure out what you’re looking for to make the most of your time together.

Not sure what you want? Be honest and open-minded. Reach out to a femdom with offerings that pique your interest. Explain that you’re not sure you’re into these things, but would like to try them.

While you’re at it: leave shame at the door. If you don’t have the balls to ask for CBT, then it’s gonna be hard to torture them. ;)

Your clear communication of boundaries before and during a session are critical to everyone’s enjoyment. Not good at asserting boundaries? Practice before looking for a dominatrix or explain to the ones you contact that you’re looking for help with boundary communication.

Femdoms are really, really good at boundaries.

If you’d like help figuring out what you want before contacting a prodomme, a sex coach can assist. Consider contacting Sex Coach Shannon and asking about her desire discovery process.

 It sounds cliche, but the reality is that prodommes want to get to know you well enough to create an experience completely customized to you.

It’s understandable if you’re shy, cautious, or a little less talkative. Try to answer their questions as fully and honestly as you can.

As long as you’re making a genuine effort to communicate honestly, it will show and be appreciated. Once your prodomme sees that effort and feels safe, they’ll let you know what they need to move forward with a session.

Don’t be afraid to let your personality come through in your communications. You’re more than just a list of kinks, and that’s oka

Traditional prodommes don’t typically offer sexual services. If they do, they tend to be clear about that early in communications.

If they don’t bring it up, you don’t bring it up.

 That’s just about everything I have to share about finding a dominatrix.

If after reading through this you’re interested in booking with me but still have questions, let’s chat. I’d be happy to plan a trampling, foot worship, hair fetish, impact play, or other femdom session with you.